Starting a business with a chronic illness
As I write this, I am almost passing out on my desk.
My brain is mush by now. It is currently 13:44 (or 01:44 pm for you people who are wrong) and my body is just giving up.
I am exhausted.
I slept well, and plenty. But then again, that was never the issue.
Honestly, I don’t even know if I’ll be able to finish writing this piece today. Yesterday I only managed to write half a post.
It almost feels like I’m burning out. Except that I’m not.
This is just a normal day for me. A bad one, but normal.
I have a neurological imbalance where my brain floods my body with hormones that are responsible for the fight or flight response constantly. This means that a lot of the time, I am very awake, and a little too energized.
But the body wasn’t made to be in this state for long. And mine is no exception. And this affects my productivity immensely.
So why am I writing right now? And more importantly, why am I starting a business if I risk having low productivity half of the time?
To be consistent.
Look, I wanted to be able to not need to write every day, and not need to program the product every day either. But unfortunately, if I want to get where I want to go, it’s necessary to do so.
That’s a lot of work. And the best way to do a lot of work is by creating habits.
Creative work should be a habit.
I am terrible at habits. I’ve never successfully had one if I’m being honest. Not brushing my teeth, not taking a shower, not even mealtimes. Everything I do takes a conscious effort to be done repeatedly.
Trust me, it’s not like I wanted to be like this. It seems to be a lot easier to get things done if you get used to doing them every day.
This is why I’m trying to create a habit again.
While I may not need to program every day (other things need to be done, such as design work or administrative work), content needs to be created every day. At least until you are well established.
Which I am not. And I am not because I have never successfully maintained a daily rhythm of content, in anything, for long.
This is a big part of the reason why I’m working one month ahead. In the event I can’t create content for one day for some reason, I still have time to catch up.
The same goes for the programming work and all the other stuff you need to do to create a product.
Honestly, I probably shouldn't be creating a business at all.
I just can’t help it. It’s something I’ve always felt I needed to do.
It’s not easy for anyone, but harder for me than most. Still, you gotta do what you gotta do.
If you want to see how this goes or learn how it really is to build a product, follow Growing Pains. I will be updating real-time what I’m doing, how it’s going, and what mistakes I make. So make sure to follow so that you don’t make them as well.
